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The phone-sex casting call you’ll never see

Supporting actors, extras, and tech crew needed for no-taboo phone sex fantasies. On call around the clock, must be available at moment's notice for random sexual acts and fetish work. You will be taking artistic direction from both the director and the male lead; in cases of conflict, male lead's decision is considered final. Currently accepting applications for the following...

  • Big Black Studs. Pitchers only, able to keep it up for women and men with rapid recovery time. Successful applicants will have double-digit equipment. You will be provided with your own fluffers and clean-up crew, whether you want it or not.
  • Hot Wives. Convincingly insatiable, anal experience required, indiscreet to outright flaunting. Must supply own wardrobe of barely street-legal club wear. Bonus if you have or are willing to get a tattoo of a spade on your upper thigh.
  • Horny Mothers-in-law. Ages 50 to 65, most body types acceptable, but you will get more work if you have the body of a 30-year-old and the vocabulary of a sailor. Some mother-daughter incest required.
  • Bi-curious Best Friend. Pitchers only, any race, ages 30 to 45, well hung (8 inches or over), open WRT porn and beer preferences. Candidates with prep school and/or Boy Scout background encouraged to apply.
  • Kinky Bi Babes. Ages 21 to 23, size 0-4, mid-length to long hair only (any color). Acrobatic or contortionist experience recommended, proven multi-orgasmic capacity, shaved pussy preferred. No speaking required.

Tech crew positions include

  • Wardrobe/makeup specialists with open mind for MTF transformations.
  • Animal wranglers (experience with horses, ponies, dogs)
  • Riggers for rope suspension work, some CBT and chandelier-swinging.
  • Lighting tech to maintain rosy glow for incest scenes.

No testing, no protection, no health insurance, just the satisfaction of joining an imaginary team dedicated to providing the best fucked-up fantasies in the biz.

3 COMMENTS ON THIS POST To “The phone-sex casting call you’ll never see”

  1. Scarlet December 10, 2009 at 4:37 pm

    What about the 18-year-old blonde high schoolers who *do* speak? Should we bring our birth certificates, to prove we are realling sucking off Daddy?… 😉

  2. pagankinktress December 10, 2009 at 8:35 pm

    Haha…nicely done!

    And to add to the castling call list….let’s not forget the group of hot, scantily clad female girlfriends who relish the thought of gathering around to watch a dude jack it off. Penchant for dishing out verbal humiliation and ongoing commentary on the predicament of the small penis is a plus. Must be able to supply own strap-on dildos =)

    Btw, love the blog talk radio show! One of these days, I must listen to you when the show airs live!

  3. confessions December 11, 2009 at 2:59 am

    Sexy Sister 1-Blonde or Brunette, 18-25, must have been harboring secret desire to fellate older brother.

    Great post!

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