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ASK A PHONE WHORE: “do you ever get any ‘normal’ callers?”

ASK A PHONE WHORE is a semi-regular feature, appearing whenever I get a good question. Anything you want to know about my phone work, ask away! Make sure to read through the archives here to see if I've already addressed your question in a previous post, or to see if I've written about something already and you have follow-up questions. I may set up a separate page here to solicit questions, or maybe just put a widget up, but for now I'll be running my mail bag over on Facebook.

Vanilla is not a derogatory term, in my book. I mean, have you tasted good vanilla? It's DELICIOUS.

Vanilla is not a derogatory term, in my book. I mean, have you tasted good vanilla? It's DELICIOUS.

Q: Do you ever get any "normal" callers? Like, fairly vanilla? Or are they all kinkos?

First of all, I consider all of my callers "normal", in the sense that having fantasies is a normal part of human sexuality. I also have no idea how they present in real life, or whether they identify as kinky, but I assume that they've got a vanilla-looking life, unless they tell me otherwise. And of course, some fantasies that come through the pipeline are more unusual, statistically speaking, but I haven't yet gotten one that I'd never heard of.

What makes someone kinky depends a lot on environment and context. Maybe that's why I consider everyone normal; I get exposed to a lot of different minds, both in my phone work and out in my performing life and promoting my "kinky" shows. I might not want to do in real life what the caller wants to talk about, but it all seems pretty normal to me! For those people who dwell almost entirely in the construct of mainstream representations of sexuality, the bar for kinky is a lot lower. (In that place, wanting to be with a fat woman, for example, is a fetish, which is funny, because no one would call "height-weight proportionate" a fetish, even though for many people that is a very strong prerequisite for desire.)

So... the calls that I get are going to be more "kinky", on average, because most people are living in the mainstream and can get the more vanilla stuff dealt with there. People often come to phone sex because they have fantasies that aren't respected/represented/discussed elsewhere, either in society or in the individual caller's life. I also think my call content tends toward the "kinkier"--damn, I'm going to wear out the quotes key with this post--because I am one of the more mature PSOs at my company, and the guys who want older women as providers frequently choose us because they imagine that we are more experienced and therefore understanding.

The fantasies that are more "normal"? I don't know what exactly my correspondent means by that, but I'll take a leap and guess, oh, I don't know. Oral sex. Missionary style. Having the girl dress up in high heels and/or lingerie. Butt sex. Okay, scratch that last one. No, leave it in. (Isn't butt sex becoming more normal?) And high heels and lingerie? There's a fine line between "normal" and "kinky" in that particular area, but I digress...

I do get calls asking for straight-up blow jobs, or they want to eat me out. Or they just want to rim me, no fantasy narrative set-up required. These are all things that are widely done, not unusual, but for whatever reason the caller doesn't have access to in his "real life", at that moment. Maybe his wife feels shame around the smell/taste of her asshole and doesn't let him indulge nearly as much as he wants. Maybe his girlfriend normally gives him amazing head, but she's out of town on business and he really wants that blow-job experience. Maybe his lover is very conservative, and he wants to hear a woman get really filthy and crazy when she come, when he makes him come. Maybe he really is a very solitary man, hell, maybe he is that stereotypical shy, lonely, socially inept guy, but he wants a warm voice in his ear describing what an excited pussy will look and smell like from six inches away.

Are those the kinds of calls that you would describe as "more vanilla"? Then yes, I do get vanilla calls sometimes. I just had one this morning, a regular of mine who likes to eat me out and then make love to me. Our calls are so softcore that I get mental whiplash if they come too close to a "kinky" call, either before or after. I can hear it in his voice, that he prefers to call my tits "breasts". Yes, I would consider his calls vanilla.

Those are actually the calls that make me ... a little sad, sometimes. See, someone who wants to talk about nails being driven through tits understands that that is hard to come by in real life (though not impossible, thank you, German BDSM porno!). But someone who wants to be held and caressed and have sweet nothings murmured into their ear, that is not only physically and legally possible, but also ... well, look: gentle physical affection is out there. In my perfect world it should not be difficult to find. But for these guys it is. And that makes me sad.

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