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ASK A PHONE WHORE: one stereotype about the job that is sometimes true

ASK A PHONE WHORE is a semi-regular feature, appearing whenever I get a good question. Anything you want to know about my phone work, ask away! Make sure to read through the archives here to see if I've already addressed your question in a previous post, or to see if I've written about something already and you have follow-up questions. I may set up a separate page here to solicit questions, or maybe just put a widget up, but for now I'll be running my mail bag over on Facebook.

When I describe my pajamas to callers who want to know what I'm wearing, this is the sort of thing I tell them. But you can't lounge properly in this shit. Jeezus.

When I describe my pajamas to callers who want to know what I'm wearing, this is the sort of thing I tell them. But you can't lounge properly in this shit. Jeezus.

Q. What's a stereotype about your job that's absolutely spot-on?

I don't know about other PSOs, but for me it's simple:

Pajamas. And lounging about on the bed.

Dress code was always one thing that drove me crazy when I had jobs outside the home. Whether it was the boxy oxford shirt and greasy black trousers of restaurant work or the bohemian business casual of jobs in a library or book publishing environment, I always resented the hell out of being forced to wear a particular outfit or outfits. It was never stuff I would have chosen for myself, and it always entailed an investment on my part that I couldn't really afford, even at the more steady wages of those jobs.

Now I get to choose exactly what I want to wear, all the time. When I'm out in the social sphere, or working a theatre festival, I can go ahead and wear short skirts and stockings with the garter straps hanging out, or short dresses and cowboy boots, or a fucking tutu, if I want. But at home it is almost always pajamas of some sort.

And not sexy pajamas, either. Please. The costume I wear for Phone Whore, the play—a tank top, the pants from a salwar kameez set, and a green satin men's pajama top as a robe—is almost exactly what I wore at home for the first year of work. When I started doing the show, I just sent that outfit into the costume bag and had to find a new work ensemble.

I miss that green satin robe.

During the summer I wear a tank top or a thin white nightie over pajama bottom, thin meaning "threadbare" and not "filmy". That reminds me, I need to buy another nightie. The one I have is worn down so much that it tore the last time I was lounging in my bed and got it caught in my elbow and tried to sit up. Whoops. In the cooler months, I wear the flannel pajama bottoms and the tank top and a zip-up hoodie. No bra, ever. In the play, I wear a bra under my tank top, mostly to pull my tits up and give me cleavage. But in real life, I let these titties swing free in the breeze.

And yeah, lounging. I definitely lounge while on call. I know other PSOs sit at their desks to "go to work"; I tried that for a little while, and it just, I don't know, contributed to some bad ergonomic habits on my part.

Lounging feels more comfortable: draped over the arms of an easy chair, on my back in my bed, stretched out on a couch. I find I feel sexier when I'm able to really relax into my space. Of course, lounging runs the risk of sending me right to sleep, if it's late and I'm already tired. But I'm willing to take that risk.

I mean, I'm not wearing pajamas in order to sit straight up.

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