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ASK A PHONE WHORE: “what do you like best about your phone work?”

ASK A PHONE WHORE is a semi-regular feature, appearing whenever I get a good question. Anything you want to know about my phone work, ask away! Make sure to read through the archives here to see if I've already addressed your question in a previous post, or to see if I've written about something already and you have follow-up questions. I may set up a separate page here to solicit questions, or maybe just put a widget up, but for now I'll be running my mail bag over on Facebook.

I'm picking up some mommy issues in the lower register...

I'm picking up some mommy issues in the lower register...

Q. What do you like best about your phone work?

Honestly, there are a lot of things I like about doing phone sex. I like the fact that I can wear no bra and jammies all day, or nothing at all if I don't feel like it. I like that I can focus on everything else between calls, so that even on slow phone days, I'm still getting a lot done. I like how portable the work is; gimme me a landline, or at least decent cell phone reception, and I can do it anywhere. I hope it's clear by now that I like my nice regulars; there are a number of them with whom I have very good relationships, and I'm particularly happy to do their calls.

But you asked me what I like the most, and I think it's the thrill of doing a first call right. By "first call", I mean a client who is new to me. The dispatcher might give me a few bits of information about what he wants, but it's very little and it might be wrong or misleading or completely irrelevant to what he actually wants to talk about. The only thing I know is that I know nothing about this guy, not really, and I have 10 seconds to find the right vibe and 45 seconds to find the core of his desire, and then seven minutes, or maybe 10--depending on how much time he ordered--to get him off.

These first calls have some of that adrenline rush of a first date, magnified and compounded by the a) time constraints and b) money exchange. The clock is ticking and he has already bought into the promise that I am a sexy bitch who can meet his every desire halfway. That's a fair bit of pressure.

I try to be alert and attentive during all my calls, but I'll admit it: for first calls, I am ON. If I wanted to listen any harder, I would have to figure out a way to push my ear through the receiver. I listen constantly for their reactions to what I say and adjust accordingly: backpedalling, moving faster, slowing it down, twisting it there. I have learned enough about how to carry on those conversations, certain approaches or key phrases or buzz words that I can almost always count on to lead me to the truth of the caller's fantasies, but I have to be paying attention for those approaches to work. It's risky, at any second the train could go off the fucking rails, but it's thrilling, it really is a rush.

Ah, and doing a first call "right"? I should have defined that, too. Getting a call "right" simply means getting him off, in the time allotted. But doing a first call "right"? That's when the caller gets off AND asks for my schedule at the end. He wants to find me again.

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If you liked this post, be sure to browse around some more. I’ve been blogging about my work in phone sex for almost four years, since six months after I started in April 2009. And if you live in the UK, you’ll have a chance this year to hang out with me while I’m on call! Okay, not really, but that’s what my award-winning solo play Phone Whore feels like, and I’m bringing it to the Edinburgh Fringe Festival Aug. 1-25, and then to five other UK cities through mid-September. Follow those links to read all about the tour and my show, and if you do make it out, come up and say hi!

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