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The Psychology of Phone Sex: some thoughts leading to a presentation

It's a thing. Apparently.

It’s a thing. Apparently.

So, in other tour-related news, I’ve been invited to do a presentation on “The Psychology of Phone Sex” at a science fair in the UK. A one-hour session, mid-May. No pay, just visibility, but that’s fine with me. I’ve got a lot of shows in the UK to promote this spring and summer, and besides, I’ve been waiting a long time for a respectable occasion at which to unveil my collection of phone-sex faux-graphs, which includes this perennial favorite. And this one. Oh, yes. I have a few.

A lot of people find these graphs funny, because for a lot of people, on first glance, the information or hypotheses that I’m putting out seem surreal, sometimes even counter-intuitive. (Humor! It works!) But really, when I bring the graphs out, I’m more interested in getting people to talk about the issues behind the lines and intersecting circles. It’s less the specific funny or “freaky” stories, and more the fact that, if you do phone sex long enough, those “freaky” stories just aren’t that freaky, statistically speaking. It’s less the psychology of phone sex and more the sociology of it.

I mean, I can talk about how I try to build rapport with the caller, by matching tone and pacing and vocabulary level and sliding closer to his accent. I can talk about how I can build raw and sometimes complicated sexual fantasies with someone whom I’ve never met or even talked with before. But how it works, though, the vocal mechanics and conversational gimmicks and basic psychology of individual calls, is only the micro analysis of the work that I do, and I think the macro analysis is MUCH more fascinating. For example:

Why do some men ask for busty PSOs, when they’re only going to ask for some forced-bisexuality story that has nothing whatsoever to do with the size of the woman’s tits?

(My hypothesis: These callers may believe that, by stating their desires for vast amounts of exaggerated female characteristics, they are successfully deflecting my attention and their own subconscious mind from the fact that the core of their fantasy contains only cock.)

Why do callers who want to be feminized want to be turned into something that they obviously despise?

(My hypothesis: Oh, god, don’t get me started. I still don’t understand humiliation play, and I’m not sure I ever will, but I know that, for some reason, being feminine is supposed to be humiliating, and FUCK THAT NOISE.)

Why do the guys who want “nasty” also seem to want older women?

(My hypothesis: We’ve had more time to have our minds broadened? I don’t know?)

See, I DON’T ACTUALLY KNOW. I don’t know any of this for sure. There are no studies of phone-sex clients, no way to determine with certainty why they do what they do on the phone. All I do is jot shit down, and occasionally make charts with it, and wonder, as I look at those charts, at the surreal intersections of gender and race and sexuality and guilt and shame and sensation.

I’m not sure it’s science, any of it, including my hypotheses, but it sure is fascinating to talk about.

2 Comments
  • Zahid Hussain

    Hello, Ms. Cameryn Moore.
    My name Is Zahid Hussain, and I am accumulating data on phone sex to write a novel. What books would you recommend reading on this subject. Would please take the time to advise, thank you.
    Truly, Zahid Hussain

    July 4, 2017 at 7:52 pm
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