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Teaching a baby phone-sex operator, a.k.a. I was that scared once, too.

Remember, sweetie, they CAN'T SEE YOU. You can blush or roll your eyes AS MUCH AS YOU WANT.

Remember, sweetie, they CAN'T SEE YOU. You can blush or roll your eyes AS MUCH AS YOU WANT.

I don't even know where she lives. All I know is that she's in the States and friended me up on Facebook in spring of 2014, after reading an article of mine (about phone sex, natch) that had gotten reprinted online, and I'm on tour in the UK and haven't touched a phone for paid sex work in over three months. But I'll be going back to it soon, and I still remember everything, and when she pinged me a few days ago, asking for some points of reassurance as she started looking into becoming a phone sex operator… well, obviously I told her to make sure to read my blog first. But then I thought, why not? I know a few things. So I got her permission to use our chat, and turns out, yeah, I do know a few things. (Her name has been changed, and I've added punctuation where needed.)

Cameryn: When you asked, what if you make a fool of yourself, what did you mean? with the customers?

Angela: Pretty much, I'm just very fearful of saying the wrong thing or sounding ridiculous. Knowing that they're paying for my time and I could let them down freaks me out

C: are you working for a company, or doing independent (this is a relevant question)

A: Not sure yet, I'm looking at my different options right now, but most likely I would prefer to work through a company.

C: And, are you focusing on fem-dom/fetish stuff, or barely legal, or you don't know / anything goes? (also relevant)

A: Pretty flexible, but given that my voice and personality are very fresh and youthful the school girl type stuff seems right

C: Okay, so in my experience, your company will want to trade on the fact that you are young-sounding and NEW. there is a certain, not-insignificant percent of phone sex clients who use the company all the time AND are looking for "fresh meat". they will expect you to sound a little uncertain and maybe awkward.

You will have that on your side, as a younger-sounding operator. you will make mistakes, but the company expects that. and the customers you get, as a new operator, will be fairly forgiving. they may market you as a "new girl" for 2-3 months, so you have that as a cushion.

A: Oh wow, I didn't know that. That's really neat. I guess anything can be considered an asset if you use it right.

C: The next question you asked was, how will this affect your personal sex life

A: Yes, like how, when you work around fast food all day, you don't want to go out to Burger King for dinner. I'm just wondering if it's going to blur things and make me less interested in sex with my husband.

C: In my experience, no, especially with face to face stuff. as long as you just treat the calls like work. when you hang up, do whatever you need to do to get it out of your head, and leave it there. Owing to my theatre work and blogging, I spend a lot of time in my phone-sex head, but even that doesn't affect how I feel about my lovers.

A: That's great. It's really my biggest fear about this, that it's going to dull my senses, but my husband and I are literally almost always together, so phone sex isn't something that happens with us, so that's not an issue.

C: Now, if you do PHONE sex with your husband, you may have to talk about that. My husband (we have been living separate and long-distance for years, before I started doing phone work), he stopped wanting to have phone sex with me after a visit with me, when he overheard me.

A: I could see how that might be difficult though.

C: So, yeah, phone work definitely doesn't have to interfere with your face-to-face sex life.

A: Wonderful. Hubby will be happy with that 🙂

C: The thing is, the clients' fantasies will never, hardly ever intersect in any meaningful way with the things you like to do in real life. everyone's fantasies are so so different. this is my experience, your mileage may vary.

A: I was just reading about that in your blog 🙂  I imagine that I can separate myself from work "sex" and real sex with a little focus.

C: (i heartily recommend that you check out psosupport.com, BTW. industry support forum, all PSOs. They probably have lots of threads about this stuff)

A: Oh cool! I didn't know something like that would exist!

C: I think they're still in existence. do check that out.

A: Absolutely 🙂

C: I think we covered, what if the callers don't like you.

A: Yes, I think so. I guess other than that, I'm worried about feeling violated. I'm going into it expecting to feel positive about it, but there's still that anxiety about being uncomfortable.

C: You will feel hella uncomfortable, for at least a couple of weeks. HELLA uncomfortable.

A: But eventually...it may subside? New things are always scary, especially something like this, I'm sure.

C: Have a couple of friends who are down with this, and aren't going to be all jokey and silly about it. join the PSO support forum.

A: My mother-in-law is a former PSO, I'm sure she'd be willing to talk to me as well (although a little weird talking about it with my husbands family).

C: it will subside eventually, if you stick out the first bit. give it three months, if you can.

A: Fabulous! I can't thank you enough for just being available to tell me the things that no one else can.

C: [you asked about what if] the neighbors may hear. ways you can ameliorate this problem:

  • take calls in rooms that are as far away from them as possible
  • do calls when they are away at work (although this would restrict your hours)
  • talk to your company, ask to avoid any extreme submission calls, those tend to be the loudest, in my experience
  • talk with your head under the comforter
  • if you are on VERY good terms with your neighbor, like, REALLY good terms, you could talk with them about it
  • otherwise, keep quiet during the normal quiet hours (11pm-7am, usually)

A: You're so great at this. 🙂 I know my neighbors have heard me have sex, I hear them having sex so I'm sure that it goes both ways, when there's talking you can hear mumbled bits and pieces of it from time to time. We tend to stay out of each others way and try to be respectful. So I imagine if I stick to daylight hours and keep it just in my office, which is a bit more sound proof that maybe it won't be an issue. I'm sure it'll still be an uncomfortable thought for a while.

But hey, the guy who lives downstairs is a drug dealer. I don't bother him about his customers being obnoxious and taking my parking spot, he can't bother me about *working from home*

C: Exactly. just keep it to the hours when you wouldn't mind someone having a party next door, and you should be fine.

A: I'm feeling so much more confident about this already.

C: Okay. well, I am glad you're feeling better. I wish I had had someone to talk to when I started 😀

A: Me too! Thank you so much. It's scary to just dive into something new that you only know so little about. It helps to have someone on the inside 🙂

C: You're very welcome. let me know how it goes. I can't do 24/7 consulting, but now I've got a personal interest in your success.

A: Aww, well thank you. I will pop in with updates once I get things underway. I'm so excited! Thank you so, so much! <3

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