X

FROM THE FUCKBUCKET: “Do threesomes live up to the fantasy?”

Do threesomes live up to the fantasy?

Short answer: they can, but often don’t.

Long answer: Ooh boy.

Without any context or background knowledge—the anonymity of the Fuckbucket being mostly, but not entirely, a blessing—I do not know exactly what threesome fantasy we’re talking about here. Threesome fantasies vary, depending on the orientation and fucking style of the person doing the fantasizing. There's no one threesome fantasy, and some of them are probably more achievable than others.

Like, I personally have fantasized for at least a decade about being spit-roasted (two dicks, at least one belonging to a cis guy), with other combinations of genitals being at most half as interesting to me. In my experience and current network, though, it's not that easy to find cisgender dudes who both like pussy and are actually okay (as in, keeping-hard levels of okay) with more than one dick in the room. Conversely, I’m not sure if as many straight men fantasize about it as our collective sex consciousness would indicate, you know, two hot bi cis ladies converging hungrily on that magnificent cock , but… yeah, I’ve heard enough guys talk about it to know that the number is statistically significant. AND AT THE SAME TIME, we bi women are all over the place, but we're not automatically down with that particular configuration. No, not even for you.

Setting logistics aside—which you actually can't—I suspect threesomes succeed or go south for the same reasons that two-person couplings do: communication, or lack thereof. However difficult or scary it is for two people to "use their words," trying to get three or more people on the same page is exponentially more so.

The problem is that people really deconstruct the fantasy all the way to the base. It’s not just getting two babes of your preferred gender mackin’ on your hot body and on each other. We develop a lot of our fantasies from pop culture, and Hollywood would have us believe that sex happens organically, maybe with some extra drinking**, but definitely with a minimum of talking. According to that manufactured fantasy, negotiating sexual encounters is awkward and makes for boring scripts. Sexy times are supposed to just EMERGE, ruffling the white gauzy curtains and turning on some lovely rose-coloured lighting on their way in.

And also, sexy times are supposed to just drift away afterward. I suspect that a lot of people, in any constellation of coitus, don’t deal with post-coital feelings very well. With established couples inviting a third in, there’s the strong potential of jealousy, plus that third person feeling maybe a little left out. With solo or otherwise non-hierarchical folks setting up the scene, perhaps that reduces the possibility of feeling threatened in one’s existing relationship, but…

I am not the person to answer this question. I’ve tried threesomes exactly four times. Only once did the mechanics actually work out, but even in that case I felt a little manipulated, like I was doing it to please my partner at the time more than for my own pleasure. The rest of the cases were either insufficiently communicated, or poorly planned. I do not have what I would consider a truly successful threesome under my belt.

I suspect that threesomes can live up to the fantasy, but you have to be hella good communicators, all three of you, before, during, and after.

** (In actual fact, I would suggest that booze complicates threesomes. It might feel easier, while you’re flirting and chatting and pushing annoyed party-goers off the couch, but you might be muddying the waters of real consent and not be making the best decisions at that moment.)

*****

HELLO! Do you like the From the Fuckbucket series? Do you think that more people followed my work, either online or in the theatre? Become a patron of mine over on Patreon and help make that happen!

 

ONE COMMENT ON THIS POST To “FROM THE FUCKBUCKET: “Do threesomes live up to the fantasy?””

  1. Dave July 7, 2017 at 7:04 am

    Yeah, the fantasy of a new sexy thing is somethjn I think we need to keep in mind as often more what we want to supercharge our libedo than the dirty reality with complexities. Thanks for laying out the case, keep dreaming! (Reality!)

    I suspect the elements (for participants with penises) that will help make them/us work in these scenarios are: being a bit bi, having checked out bi and group sex porn on sex sites, and a proven ability to ask for what you want. Even something as simple as being able to masturbate with others present is a skill that’s needed as no one with a penis stays hard all the time (look up the job of fluffer in porn).

    Thanks for the thoughts.

Leave a Reply

Message
Your Name *
Your Email *
Website