He was the second in a row of two new-to-me callers. New callers are good, from a micro-marketing point of view, because for me—and I don't know how this is true across the industry or even in my company—but for me, real regulars, who a) talk to me only, b) call regularly, and c) have been with me longer than a year, are rare.
I get "regulars", but they're actually semi-regulars. Turns out they were just on a Cameryn kick for a little while and then they wanted to try someone "barely legal". Or they were just using me while their favorite girl was on vacation for a couple of months. Or they ran out of money, or their wife found the credit card bill, or they found a new channel on xhamster, or they got three new account to manage at work and now they're working 80 hours a week, and they stop for a while, or forever... the point is, there is attrition, which means I always want a trickle of new potential regulars auditioning me.
So, okay. This guy. The dispatcher says he's a "hot n sexy", which I always take with a grain of salt. There is a not-insignificant chance, with "hot n sexy" callers, that they've actually got something fairly specific and/or graphic, and the operators who have done them in the past have just never bothered to call back in to the dispatcher and update the notes in the system. I mean, I rarely do it myself. So, he could just be into plain ol' pussy-eating or titty-fucking, or he could whip out something a little different. Depends what the next clue from the dispatcher means...
Thick, like, BBW?
"It just says 'thick'. I have no idea, honey. Seven minutes, the cheap bastard. Go get 'im."
He asks me to describe myself, but he's not actually listening; instead, he comes at me pretty quickly with his question: "Do you know about cuckolding?"
Yes, of course.
"I want to catch you at it."
Okay, so you walk in the door...
"OH MY GOD HONEY WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" (yes, this is when he actually starts shouting)
I think it's obvious what I'm doing. I'm getting fucked better than I ever got from you. I'm on the couch on my hands and knees ...
"NO YOU'RE ON YOUR BACK!"
... I'm on my back and he's...
"HE'S FUCKING YOU SO GOOD YOUR TOES ARE POINTED"
... oh my god, yes...
"TELL ME THAT!"
"TELL ME THAT HE'S FUCKING YOU SO GOOD THAT YOUR TOES ARE POINTING!"
Uh... look, honey, he's fucking me so hard that my toes are pointing!
"OH MY GOD, YOUR TOES ARE POINTING."
Yes, oh yeah...
... Oh, yes, my toes are pointing.
"YES, OH GOD, LOOK AT YOUR TOES, LOOK AT YOUR LEGS, LOOK AT THOSE THICK THIGHS!"
(Ah-haaah. That's where the "thick" comes in.)
He's digging those big strong fingers into my thick thighs, he's getting ready to come...
"TELL HIM TO COME ON YOUR FEET. I'M GOING TO COME ON YOUR FEET, TOO! I'M GOING TO COME ALL OVER YOUR TOES. OH GOD OH GOD YES..."
Two things I learned from this call:
1) hooray for the erotic imagination, picking up ANY DAMN THING and making it hot!
2) the ability of that imagination to combine two or more erotic things into one fantasy means I will never stop being surprised. Probably. Hopefully.
THANKS FOR READING! Browse around some more, I'll wait... So, did you like it? Show your love NOW by pitching in some funds to get me and my solo play Phone Whore to the 2013 Edinburgh Fringe Festival. Read all about it by clicking on the Indiegogo button below.