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SMUT STAND REPORT: May 19, 2014 (Bath, UK)

You see now that the four-post bed is more than decorative...

You see now that the four-post bed is more than decorative...

WHEN: 2 hours (9:15-11:15pm), May 19, 2014. WHERE: the back garden of the Bell, Wilcot Street, Bath, UK. OUTPUT: Two custom pieces, two "off the rack" (e.g. out of my head). I ended up falling asleep for a couple of hours after arriving in Bath and picking up groceries, so left the billet considerably later than I had intended. On the recommendation of the director of my venue, I decided to check out the Bell, the tavern which seasonally houses the Fringe office and is where a lot of performers hang out, apparently. My venue director said it was in a bohemian part of town; however, when I met the Fringe director there and explained Sidewalk Smut and what I was looking for, he laughed and said the area was less boho than it had been, and gave a couple of suggestions for better areas, neither of which were appropriate for 9pm on a Monday night. But I had lugged the Smut Stand down there on the bus, and I thought at least I could arrange to store it at the Bell, as a place more convenient to downtown Bath. THEN I met Jamie, the manager, asked about setting up in the back garden and could I store my stuff there, and he was SO AMIABLE, goodness. So! Nobody really knew what to do with a lady and a typewriter back there, but I did get some people asking for my show card—everyone knew about the Fringe, what a relief!—and two custom orders, including a nice little public fingering on a summer-hot riverbank and a suspension by the wrists over a four-post bed that lead to a near-fisting. The young lady who commissioned the latter piece had to run home to get the payment: "My mom asked me what I was doing, and I said I needed to pick up my school work and was going to stay the night at a friends." Combining the fact that she was still living at home with what she gave me in the interview, I guessed that she didn't have much chance to play as hard as she wanted to, so I learned heavy on the brutal stuff, and she loved it.

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