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QUANTIFYING PHONE SEX: too many questions

questionsThere is a certain amount of back-and-forth questioning that occurs in the better phone sex calls, and by “better”, I mean calls that are being done by people who know what they are doing, on both sides. These callers know what they want, even if they’re afraid to put words on it, and they can respect the time limits.

The questions may be about what I look like, or what they’re wearing for me (for example, if the dispatcher told me the caller was a sissy). The questions might be teasing or harsh in tone, again, depending on what the dispatcher gave me as my role. If the caller is one of the silent types, I end up asking most of the questions. But I choose the questions carefully, and I don’t let them go on too long. At a certain point, the questions are not going to forward the call any further. The action has to get started.

But when the caller keeps asking questions, I know there are going to be problems. He either is a) really high or otherwise fundamentally/physiologicaly incapable of focusing, or b) really obnoxious and he is determined to push the customer service model out as far as he can.

He knows that “customer is king”, and that there’s probably a little flex in the end time, and he is almost certainly the sort of guy who will say, when I tell him that we have two minutes left in his seven-minute call, all of which he has wasted on a barrage of irrelevant questions, he is exactly the guy who will say something like, “come on, bitch, make me come.”

Like I haven’t been trying to help with that for the last five minutes.

Their incessant barrage—are you shaved? what’s the kinkiest thing you’ve ever done? What’s your waist measurement? Have you ever had sex with another girl? Do you have a husband? Does he know you do phone sex?—has been getting in the way. NOBODY needs that kind of scattershot detail to do phone sex. That’s just a stalling tactic to talk to a pretty girl for longer. (They probably did it to the dispatcher, too, in the process of trying to figure out which girl to take.)

Word of advice to first-time phone-sex consumers: except for a few quick things, let the operator ask the questions. She’s keeping track of the time, and she knows how to get to your core quickly.

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