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WHOLESOME SLEAZE: the special sauce of Smut Slam

I recruit my Bucket Babes carefully: they have to be naturally outgoing and persuasive, in a gentle, encouraging way. And when they ask what they should wear, I give them the style in two words: “wholesome sleaze.”

This is the special sauce for every Smut Slam: you don’t even notice it as a separate ingredient, but it’s in everything. Wholesome sleaze. By which I mean, sleaze that is beneficial, that is good for your health in some way. The way we run it, Smut Slam is absolutely good for you.

I didn’t invent the concept of “wholesome sleaze” out of nothing; it’s something I apparently had naturally as part of my personality, to be fairly upfront about my sexuality AND ALSO be pretty cheery about it and not oppressive about pursuing it. (I feel like “the girl next door” is part of it, if the girl next door knew a lot about whips and chains, too.) I am enthusiastic about the full range of sexual experiences, as shared at a slam; I know how to take no for an answer, when I’m trying to encourage people to get involved; and I really do have fun with the conversations.

I urge other Smut Slam hosts to find their own ways to that vibe, because we have to talk about our own shit, and that is hard. Not everyone can do that, or wants to. We model acceptance about our selves and our sexual histories, we demonstrate some level of self-awareness and respect for who we were and who we are. That is way more than most job descriptions include, and yet it’s a key part of getting to that wholesome Smut Slam sleaze: radical openness and vulnerability. We ask nothing of our audiences that we aren’t willing to do ourselves.

At the same time, we have to preserve radical boundaries as well. HARD-CORE BOUNDARIES, holy shit. At Smut Slam, we encourage audience members to share their stories, and so we keep the boundaries around the event solid.

We insist on private space for Smut Slams, so that no one gets to witness the event who hasn’t already heard and tacitly agreed to our code of conduct. We have a detailed and still evolving Code of Conduct, which we strive to live up to in order to build the most welcoming space possible. We as Smut Slam hosts might flirt with the entire fucking room, but we are not there to show off our stories or material, but instead to make a stable platform for attendees to stand on.

This care makes total sense when you understand that Smut Slam is not a show per se, it’s a sharing. It’s not a come-on in any way, in any direction; rather, it’s a community happening and even we don’t know what’s going to happen! The stories may be over the top, all cock and cunts and dungeon scenes, or they may be mellow and loving, gentle with nary a bad word in sight. Usually it’s a mix, all in one night!

Smut Slam is some powerful sex-related chaos, in other words, and we hold the space where people can feel safe with it, with hosts who can be silly sometimes, and empathic, thoughtful, friendly.

Wholesome sleaze is what makes the container strong enough to contain it all.

*****

Become a patron of mine on Patreon, and you become even more of a supporter of the kind of sex-aware work that I do, all over the place. This is especially going to be necessary in 2018, as I head out on an Australian tour and launch new slams all over Europe, too. Be a part of the magic!