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CALL OF THE DAY: phone sex verité

This guy is a classic phone bottom: micro-managing as hell. His checklist is long, but predictable, and he does take whatever nastiness I dish out, so he's not my worst bottom. I like him, even though there is a certain timbre in his voice that rubs me the wrong way, nasal and smarmy. Even when he says "yes, my Queen" (yeah, it's like that), it just sounds so completely inauthentic and not really part of who he is. More than almost any of my customers, he sounds like he has memorized a porn script, and a bad one at that. So more than occasionally I get the urge to pop his bubble. I remember one call when I actually gave in to that urge at THREE different points during his usual 15-minute call.

This is a metaphor for many phone fetishists, actually...

This is a metaphor for many phone fetishists, actually...

1) He says he's a toilet slut, and talks about me shitting in his mouth, talks about the sweet morsel from his Queen's ass. Few of these guys actually know what shit tastes like, and that day I was just in the mood to try and explain, like, you know that my shit isn't chocolate, right? It's actually bitter as all fuck.

2) I told him to keep his mouth closed when he chews, I am not interested in re-enacting Japanese scat porn. "Japanese what porn?" he asked.

Scat.

"What's that?"

Shit. It's porn involving shit.

"Huh."

Wait a minute ... where did you learn about shit-eating if you didn't get it from porn?

"You told me about it."

I would never initiate a scat discussion with a caller; they have to bring it up. So DON'T YOU FUCKING LIE TO ME, BITCH, you don't come up with your delightfully baroque descriptions of shit-eating, without at least reading about it somewhere.

3) When I'm fucking him—did I mention that I'm his "she-male" queen? yes, indeedy!—he tells me to "rape my ass." Even though I know that everything is fair game in fantasy, and I know some people have rape fantasies, I want clarity about my relationship in the scene. I'm not raping him, I'm just giving it to him rough because he wants it that way.

So I snapped at him, completely in character: BITCH, DON'T ACT LIKE YOU DON'T WANT THIS. IT'S NOT RAPE IF YOU'RE FUCKING ASKING FOR IT.

Sometimes I get the urge for phone sex verité. Better push that down and hide it somewhere.

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