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SMUT STAND REPORT: June 14, 2015 (Ludlow, UK)

See the transcript below; this photo is shite, sorry.

See the transcript below; this photo is shite, sorry.

WHEN: 1.5 hours (2:30-4:15pm), June 14, 2015. WHERE: Courtyard of Chang Thai, Ludlow, UK. OUTPUT: one tip sheet.

I returned to the scene of last year's oddly successful Smut Stand, even though I knew business wouldn't be as good, since the owner of Chang Thai, who had been so diligent about promoting my smut to his patrons last year, was not on site; he had opened up a new pub the day before and had been over there non-stop since I arrived in town. People had also predicted that the new pub, the Blue Boar, would pull some of the normal business away from Chang Thai, so I had already decided that I would have to try a shift or two at the Blue Boar, just to find where the people would be. But I wanted to give it a go at Chang Thai, for old times' sake.

No smut session is a failure where I get at least a couple of people taking cards; by that low, I mean, attainable standard, I did all right. My posters had been up for a couple of days already, so I was starting to get noticed. Visibility is not readily quantifiable, but it does add up. One well-sauced birthday party/"hens night" almost ordered something, but there was a lot of "she needs one" "no, you get one", and in the end it came to nothing.

Then a young woman came up, porn-star beautiful and smiling wide. She and her boyfriend had already walked by me a couple of times for drinks and food ordering. They had asked for a card in there somewhere, but now she came up by herself. "Do you teach people how to do dirty talk?" I have done, I said, wondering where she was going with this. "I do webcam stuff and phone sex, and I could really use some tips. I don't need a story, but maybe you could write me up a few ideas?" AH. Huh. Was this… a consultation?

I told her that I also did phone work, and we indulged in a bit of water-cooler chat. She's been doing phone work for just under a year, and she said she still had challenging moments. And then I said, well, I could do you a half-page tip sheet, but I couldn't do it for free. We settled on £10 on a fair price (I figured this was less creative work than my normal wares, and you know, industry discount...), and then I asked her what were the sorts of things that she found challenging in her work. Keeping the caller on the phone, she said, and the domination calls. "It's not something that comes naturally to me, you know?" Oh yes, I said and laughed. I know.

The tip sheet came out very easily; I think about my work a lot, and even though I may not have laid them out explicitly before, it seems I do have, well, not scripts, but strategies. When I read the tip sheet to her, my PSO patron was very enthusiastic about the content. And I had a great time standing over by their table afterward, laughing really loudly about inside-joke situations. She and her boyfriend said they usually come into a town and look for the sleaziest place or event they can go to. "We saw your poster, and we said, that's the one." Thanks? I guess? Anyway, they ended up buying tickets for my Friday night show, which means, though I hadn't made much money at all, my short afternoon of smutting was nonetheless a success.

TRANSCRIPT OF THE DOMINANCE TIPS:

HOW TO KEEP THE GUTTER FLOWING

They want you to dominate, but that doesn't mean you need to dominate the conversation. Asking the right questions is the best way to expand the encounter and give you the information you need to really give them a satisfying experience. Things like:

"What have you done to get ready for me?"

(gotten naked, shaved themselves, put on some pretty knickers, gotten the toys out… Whatever they answer, as them questions about that. Make them give you the details that are important to them.)

"What do you do with other dominatrixes?"
(Maybe they have real-life experience that you can grill them about. Maybe they have no experience, but they've watched some porn or have a favorite fem-dom website. Ask them straight up to tell you about what they watch, and to describe how they jerk off. It's that little touch of humiliation, having to lay everything out for you.

"How do you think you can please me?"
(In their fantasy, they will do whatever you tell them to, but in reality they probably have one thing, or one very specific set of things, that they are interesting in doing for you, and they are not actually doing this for _you_, but for themselves. Get them to tell you what they want, by phrasing it as you assessing their offering. Of course whatever they say is exactly what you want, but they don't need to know that. Hint that you are hard to please, and their answer may not please you.)

Other useful approaches:

  • Make them do specific tasks. Depending on their other answers, you can give them step-by-step instructions in some activity that fits the fantasy. If they want to be told how to masturbate, tell them, and make them spend a decent amount of time on each new touch or stroke. If they like to cross dress, have them describe the outfits, put them on (describing the sensations), look at themselves in the mirror and tell you what they look like, maybe tug or manipulate an article of clothing to give themselves a wedge or show more cleavage.
  • Check in with them often, with the right tone of voice. "how hard is your dick right now?" "Are you having a hard time standing in those heels, you little sissy?" "You're still on your knees, right? I didn't say you could get up yet." With all questions, make sure you give them at least a little time to respond.
  • Work on your evil laugh, and use that to buy yourself extra time to figure out what to do next.

*****

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