September 16, 2015
THE FUCKBUCKET: Do Impatient Tops Scare Off Potential Anal Bottoms?
I’m a woman who LOVES receiving anal. This makes me popular with men who seem to have difficulty finding women who will let them “take the dirt road.” My theory is that a lot of women are hurt in their first anal experience by an over-eager partner, and thus think that anal *always* hurts like that. What do you think, Cameryn?
camerynmoore
I think that’s an AWESOME theory, and pretty right on, at least in part. I do think that people, in general, don’t approach anal with enough respect the first time around. Like, it takes a LOT of relaxing to fit anything up in there! Either fingering/massage or analingus, the person who wants to get in has to be giving a lot of warm-up and enthusiastic foreplay beforehand. (Beforedick.) I also think a not-insignificant portion of people receiving anal do it for the first time when they’re drunk, so they may be all numbed out to it while it’s happening, but the next morning, OW OW OW, leading to the same sort of antipathy that you’re talking about, that it must always hurt because that’s how it felt for me.
But I think there’s another very important reason why women may be reluctant to receive anal: slut shaming. Oh, yes! Especially for women with both pussy and ass, they might worry that their willingness to receive anal will look greedy–what, isn’t one hole enough? Also, anal in general is considered dirty, and a dirty girl is definitely a slut, in our society’s current reading of female sexuality.
Like you, I love anal sex (with the right lover! 😀 ), and I have made pleasurable anal sex a kind of secondary cause of mine, when I’m out on the Smut Stand or doing a Smut Slam or any place where I get to talk about sex in public, I do want people to know that a) anal sex can be amazing and b) liking anal sex isn’t cause for shame. I don’t push it on people, but if people are on the fence or in the closet about liking it, I show support and encouragement.
In short, YAY BUTTSEX!