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True confession time

  • Hmmm... I need something that says "hot-model horny slut", something with a REALLY absorbent crotch...

    Hmmm... I need something that says "hot-model horny slut", something with a REALLY absorbent crotch...

    When I don't like a caller, I will start the timer as soon as they say hello. And I am watching that clock the whole time

  • There are a few callers whose required audio feedback is so primitive that I actually can quickly check Facebook updates and not lose a beat.
  • Occasionally—especially late at night, when I'm lying on my bed—I have dozed off for a second or two in the middle of a call.
  • Pro-tip: to recover from those moments, I just laugh knowingly and say, "I know, you dirty boy."
  • When I like a caller, I might start the timer as much as 10 or 15 seconds late, and I can let it run up to two minutes over their time. You can get a lot of post-coital interpersonal bonding done in two minutes.
  • "Princess" is my go-to nickname for my cocksuckers. Depending on the narrative context, I will say it lovingly or mockingly, but it is pretty much standard.
  • Pro-tip: as much as I love the words for myself, "slut" and "whore" are also at the top of the deck for mean cocksucker calls.
  • I don't jack off during calls—only one time, early on, and I never did it again—but a couple of times I have continued fucking, when things were hot and heavy with someone on my end and a call came through in the middle. I did it mostly because the sound F/X matched up really well.
  • Tiffany and Janelle are my daughters' names (pre-teen and teen, respectively). Always. I can't be bothered to make up new shit for every new incest call.
  • Peeing surreptitiously while taking a non-pee-related call is tricky, but I have done it.
  • Pro-tip: Peeing slow only makes it that much louder. Piss fast, during a part where you are talking non-stop or having an orgasm.
  • When I am on tour and taking calls on my cell phone—versus using a landline—I try to get my callers off as quickly as possible within the allowable limits of under time (two minutes under the time package they purchase). International roaming charges suck; why would I rack those up?
  • I don't receive submission calls often, and I hate them when I do, except for Bilingual Papi, partly because he allows me to be bratty.
  • If a caller's line is full of static, I only say "what?" twice and then I just forget about understanding and do my best to give feedback based on the tone of his voice.
  • I dread guys asking to buy my panties. I wear a size 26-28, and usually the description they get is more a 12-14, and I don't want to have to go out and buy a package of smaller panties just for that. (It happened once, and I bought the fakes, but the guy's wife ended up intercepting the package, so the company refunded his money.)
  • Pro-tip: If you're going to be ordering things from your PSO and hiding them from your significant other, get a goddamn PO box first.
  • I frequently use the names of real people in my stories—current or previous lovers, especially—because I have a hard time remembering the cast of characters otherwise.
  • One ex in particular gets trotted out to be the "bull" in the "real-life" BBC/cuckold fantasies; it gives my voice the ring of truth because he actually did have a decent cock, but I also do it because I know he would hate participating in such a scene, and I like to think his balls itch a little every time I drop his name.

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