CALL OF THE DAY: return of the Gentleman Ass Pirate

It’s been really, really slow on the phones lately. It’s not me, at least that’s what my boss tells me. It’s just that time of the year. Weather’s getting nice, baseball is back on, tax returns are due. Aahhhhh, yes. People are getting concerned about money, and saving up for tax payments.

And phone sex is a luxury item. I’m not going to say anything about sex in general being a luxury, but 20 minutes of time once a week to talk to a stranger about having your wife get fucked by a couple of black dudes? Well, it’s cheaper than therapy or actually hiring a couple of guys to do the deed, but not as cheap as just sitting at home in your dark bedroom and replaying last week’s phone call in your head.

I’m in reruns and I’m not getting a cent.

In good news, I’ve been getting a small wave of people who used to be regulars, or at least who requested me a few times in a row, A YEAR AGO, and then didn’t call back, until now. One of the dispatchers I asked about it last night, she said, “eh, they just like to try all the girls”. Me, I wonder if they liked what they heard back then, but I didn’t quite have the skills to hook them through and keep them on. Because it was A YEAR AGO.

There’s no knowing, I suppose, but it’s just fun to hear back from people who not only stuck in my mind, but apparently I stuck in theirs. Last night I heard back from my Gentleman Ass Pirate, after a 10-month absence. No recriminations, obviously, but I said, “well, we’ve spoken before, but I don’t know if you remember…”, and he interrupted and said in that sweet Southern accent, “Oh, no, honey, I remember your voice. You have a celebrity voice.” I was like, what? He was a little drunk, so he sounded a little flustered. “I mean, you have a voice that sounds like you should be a celebrity. Like you should be on radio or something. You have a beautiful voice. I remember your voice.”

Gentleman Ass Pirate, indeed. He proceeded to lay siege to my booty for 45 minutes, getting me to lick his dirty cock between bouts, and thanked me afterwards as graciously as a king.

Welcome back, pirate. Stay for a while this time. The wench is better than she was a year ago.

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