CALL OF THE DAY: “do you know about the Castro?”

He doesn’t request me or call very often, but his set-up is so specific that I have no problem remembering. Also he has what I think is an Australian accent.

ANYWAY, he spends the first few minutes talking about a girl—any girl, for a little while it was his best friend’s younger sister, then it was Jennifer Love Hewitt—and then the rest of the time he talks about all the sex he has or wants to have with men to show her how much he loves this girl. I haven’t figured out if this leap in logic makes it a fantasy of humiliated submission or of reverence, or maybe it’s both. Or it’s just a device to get to cock. It doesn’t matter, I suppose. In our service relationship it functions very simply: by sucking cock “on behalf of” a girl, he’s letting me know, and reminding/reassuring himself, that he’s totally straight.

Lately he’s been fixated on this girl on his co-ed soccer team; in the second-to-last call we had, he talked about how he was so turned on by some FB pictures of her that he had to call up a male escort. He only lives about 40 minutes away from San Francisco, so the escort told him to come to a club in the Castro. “It’s a neighborhood in San Francisco that is all gay men. Do you know about the Castro?”

Um. Yes, honey. I know about the Castro.

But you wanna know the detail that, in my mind, puts this guy firmly into the untethered-to-reality category? The last call I did with him, he said that the escort called him back to invite him over for an actual date. Yes, baby. Because when a male escort is off the clock, he will naturally want to unwind with an insecure, horny guy who can only come when he’s got a dick up his ass and “Jennifer, I love you” on his lips.


THANKS FOR READING! Browse around some more, I’ll wait… So, did you like it? Show your love NOW by pitching in some funds to get me and my solo play Phone Whore to the 2013 Edinburgh Fringe Festival. Read all about it and DONATE at the Indiegogo page HERE.

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