Mysteries of the One-Minute Men

People ask me all the time what’s the longest call I’ve ever taken. (Answer: a three-and-a-half-hour cuckolding call, during which I talked almost the entire time. This guy, in fact.) While that is unusual, I do get my share of what I consider longer calls: 30, 45 minutes, occasionally hour-long sessions. Those can be fun, but they fall within my experience of sexual encounters and/or relationship-building encounters. Whatever sexual content is going on, there is conversation, there is back-and-forth, there is storytelling and some theatrical aspect to it. Nothing out of the ordinary for me, in other words.

No one’s ever asked what’s the shortest call I’ve ever taken.

One minute, 15 seconds.

This was a two-girl call where we were supposed to laugh at his tiny penis. We had a few teasing lines and then, boop, he was done. “Was that it?” the other girl asked; she was a new girl. “Yep,” I said, looking at his index card, which had a string of 1.5 minutes noted all the way down the side. “That’s what he does.”

That’s not the only One-Minute Man in my card box, not by a long shot. Recently I have been getting a guy whose calls all last between 1.5 and 2 minutes. He asks me a couple of questions, like whether I’ve ever done it with another girl, I have time to do a 30-second description of her pussy or the vibrator or whatever, and that’s it.

So when I say “One-Minute Man”, I’m not talking about wrong numbers or the rare occasion where the caller just doesn’t like my voice and asks for another girl. I’m talking about there’s a beginning, an “oh my god, I’m coming!” and a very distinct end. These are the calls that FASCINATE me. I mean, what the hell is that about?! Because there is no time for sex content. That’s usually about how long I take to go through introductions and describe my measurements and my hair color.

The standard wisdom is that these guys are cheapskates. They get themselves jacked up on their own, looking at porn or whatever, and then they call up at the last minute for the finishing live-girl touch. I’ll buy the cheapskate hypothesis, but only partially. Because these guys probably could get there on their own; they’re really close! If sex is a journey and orgasm is the destination, these guys have landed at the airport, went through customs, and bought the postcards, you know? So that doesn’t answer the question of why, for these guys, even call in at all?

The guy who likes two girls teasing? He’s a special case. He clearly enjoys the humiliation, but he’s super-sensitive to it. So 60 seconds of intensely personal talk about his tiny dick, that’s over-stimulation to a delicate flower like him.

For the most part, I think these One-Minute Men are exhibitionists of a very particular sort. They want someone to witness and appreciate the money shot, that’s the part that pushes them over. I personally am more of a long-form exhibitionist; I like to show off the process and all of the interesting parts. And of course, as a talker, I like a nice, drawn-out verbal build. But if a witnessed ending is the part that’s important to them, if that’s the thing that revs their motor, then there’s really no need for anyone to be around for any longer than that. The fact that it saves money is the perk, not the point.


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