The More You Know!: Cuckolds and Cream Pie

Today I write of another kink that I knew very little about before joining the lines. It’s these guys who fantasize about their wives or girlfriends getting boffed by other, better-hung fellows (or in the case of one of my regulars, a buffed-out dyke with a supersize strap-on).

I’m not going to deal with the 101 of cuckolding, because Dan Savage covers it nicely here and wikipedia goes into great detail also. For myself, after extensive reading of overwrought cuck fic and a couple of afternoons laughing at the bad acting at those interracial hot-wife sites (no links to that, that’s what google is for), this is where I’m at:


I’m just not much closer to emotionally comprehending the turn-on. Sure, I had my theories, but the chart is starting to sprawl as my cuck-callers keep adding phrases and scenes and images to the mess: imagining your conservative wife letting loose with some horse-dicked stranger, in a way that she doesn’t with you. Smelling that distinct lust-must smell in the conjugal bed. Her getting knocked up and not by you. Being the clean-up boy as your reward (oh, homosex overtones, I never get enough of you). Watching her exit the restaurant with her boyfriend on the eve of your anniversary dinner, leaving you with the tab, defizzed champagne, and a melting tiramisu. A call I took last week made me cry, when one cuckold fantasizer asked me, “what will it feel like when my wife falls in love?”

This stuff is CHARGED. Last night I took a call where the hardest spot of resistance for the caller was when I told him, the husband, that he needed to open the door for my lover and welcome him into the house. He resisted, he was shocked and appalled, but he didn’t hang up, which is why I spent some time needling him about it. “Don’t you love me? Don’t you want to see me happy?” I asked, throwing an extra pout into my voice. “I can’t do it,” he kept saying. “It’s so humiliating.”

We ended up arguing for nearly 10 minutes, because here we were, 60 minutes into the call, and we had already imagined him taking the guest bedroom, right next to the master bedroom and hearing me get my brains fucked out. So what was it about opening the door and offering a drink to my lover that was so much harder? “He’s been in our bed before, you know.” “I know. But I can’t just welcome him in like that.” In the end, we negotiated–a cream pie in exchange for opening the door and being respectful–but over my head the lightbulb didn’t just go on; there were 200 of them flashing all around. Jeezus christ, I thought, all that psychological symbolism is right on. It’s like a porno and horror film all mixed together.

Whatever you do, cuckold, (don’t) open that door. After that, it’s all over but dessert.

  • Molly

    I love the cuckold calls, don’t ask me why. There was one caller in particular who had a nice long set-up of why he thinks his wife is boffing the new, young guy at her work. Higher call average right off the bat. His would always go from “what do you think they’re doing right now?” to “what would he do to me if I walked in?”

    September 1, 2009 at 1:19 am
  • Mitch

    I find the imagined visual of a girlfriend with a stranger very arousing, but that’s more about her doing something very decadent and out of character: putting on a live sex show for my benefit. It’s probably different from cuckolding because there isn’t humiliation involved.

    I get a lot of revenge fantasies when I read about cuckolding that involves humiliation, like driving by and waving at the cuckoldress who nine months later is a penniless divorcee pushing twin mulatto babies with different fathers in a stroller, or filming her and her bull with a hidden camera and selling the video.

    September 3, 2009 at 5:03 pm
  • DIYDomme

    Love it, yes – Mr Savage is the ultimate resource for us phone girls.

    I love taking cuck and hotwife calls, hell – I hope to someday be a hotwife!

    September 3, 2009 at 5:06 pm
  • camerynmoore

    Yeah, the porn-show aspect is a turn-on for some guys, not always an overlap with cuckolding.

    I also want to take this opportunity to have an education moment around race and word usage. “Mulatto” is not a great word to throw around in casual usage. It is perhaps not as charged as the n-word, but it is still pretty offensive in my book, so Mitch and everyone else, please don’t use it here, or any racial epithet, unless you put it in quotes and make it SUPER clear in your post that you are using it as an example. I only have a few callers who are explicitly and vilely into offensive racial terminology. I HATE those calls more than almost any other, and since I’m not getting paid here to put up with it, I won’t.

    The notion that a white woman pushing a stroller full of mixed-race babies is carrying her shame around for the world to see… well, unpacking that is going to take another post. Or ten. I see I’m going to have to start making an effort and pin down my musings on race and fetishism. Oh, boy. This is going to be fun!

    September 3, 2009 at 5:42 pm
  • Mitch

    You’re right, that word is currently considered to be pejorative and I should have been more careful with language. The biracial children are a reference to the “big black c_ck” that is a component of so many cuckold fantasies. That’s a consequence of her actions in the fantasy, and the cuckold need not pay child support for children obviously not fathered by him, but of course in real life there is no shame in having mixed race children.

    If you hate saying those words, why aren’t you
    setting a boundary with your callers on that and
    saying you won’t do it?

    September 4, 2009 at 6:16 am
  • camerynmoore

    Believe me, I understood exactly the image that you were getting at with the babies and the stroller. Thanks for hearing me out about language usage, and respecting it.

    As for doing those scenes, and why… let’s just say that I’m with a no-taboo company that is totally no-taboo. I understand that a few companies allow their operators one pass, one thing that is a hard limit, one area that they are allowed to say “no” to. My company does not. If I were to say to a caller, “I’m sorry, I can’t say that,” the caller would almost certainly end the call, call back, and report me to my boss, and I would lose my job.

    What do I do, then? When I hear the caller edging in that direction, I try my hardest to stick with the word “black”. If he says, “make me suck that n-word cock”, I’ll say, “Yeah, suck it,” avoiding the word as long as I can. One of my callers knows that I hate the word, because we actually had a confrontation about it during one of our first calls, and I buckled first. Now he includes, after asking me to say something with the n-word, “tell me that all that liberal bullshit about n-words being the same as us isn’t true.” It’s completely and absolutely a power play, and because he knows it and keeps pressing the point, I have an extra layer of resentment toward him around it.

    But I can’t turn down the call, and I haven’t yet gotten the nerve to “accidentally” disconnect because up until the last month or two I just haven’t made enough money that I can afford the luxury of sticking to my principles in every single situation. Sigh.

    September 4, 2009 at 7:51 am
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