CALL OF THE DAY: hypothetically cam-compatible

He is a gentleman from New Orleans, one of my more infrequent regulars who is languidly, baroquely, infallibly polite until the point where he gets his big black hands on my creamy white ass (his words, not mine).

“I wanna ask you a quick question,” he said, and then hemmed and hawed half of his seven minutes away. “I know you talk sexy and you’re a dirty girl, but, um, hypothetically are you capable of doing webcam work?”

– No, I told you before, baby, my company doesn’t offer that.

“No, I mean, do you have the assets to do it? Hypothetically?”

– Well, my computer’s pretty slow, so no.

“But with a faster computer would you be, you know, able to do that kinda work? Realistically?”

… Oh. OH. You want to know if I’m hot enough to do webcam work?

“Well, yeah.”

– Oh, honey, I walk around with my tits on a platter in real life, I don’t think I’d have any problems at all. Now why don’t you stop wondering and grab yourself a couple of handfuls of this ass?


I know why he’s asking. What I don’t know is why my answer should make him stop wondering.

  • Deidre

    It’s the knowledge that makes them feel better … Confirmation. They feel like you might be really hot but until you confirm it, they are always left wondering.

    Verbal comfort food … it doesn’t really do anything for them realistically but it makes them FEEL better about it.

    November 30, 2012 at 3:49 am
  • Anonymous

    Do you ever let your clients know that you write openly about your conversations once you’ve made them splooge? It would be interesting to know if these guys have any issues with you sharing such intimate conversations — even if their names aren’t used — and even profiting off of them by using these stories in your shows. I’m sure I’m not covering any new ground by bringing this up, but curious as to your response and interested to know if you ever feel as though you’ve breached their trust… ?

    December 7, 2012 at 12:38 am
  • Anonymous

    As someone whose seen your show and has read your entries, I’m most certainly interested in your insight and anecdotes regarding the sexual fantasies of your callers and the voyeuristic nature of your stories makes them all the more titillating. But, I assume that most callers believe their time with you to be fully confidential (which may be totally naive on their part) and may not appreciate their deep, dark fantasies being turned in to fodder for your work. I’m not suggesting you stop doing what you’re doing, but I’d be interested to hear how a regular client of yours would react to knowing that when seeking a release by chatting with you, they may in fact be sharing their dirty little secrets with the world wide web, even if names and specific personal information is omitted.

    December 7, 2012 at 2:48 am
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