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CALL OF THE DAY: surfer dude meets lesbian porn

I think he sounds like a surfer dude, a stereotypical SoCal stoner. He definitely calls when he’s high sometimes, and when he talks about what he’s been up to over the summer, it usually involves following some jam band around on tour. I should learn not to assume a damn thing about anybody, but sometimes the contrast between how they “present” and what they WANT is just so fuckin’ delightful!

Surfer Dude likes to role play as a woman, see. It’s not forced feminization or sissification or any of that; he straight-up drops into a woman’s body and jumps my ass. No “I’m a terrible man with a tiny penis, so I must be a woman” set-up here, he’s not humiliated in the slightest. He’s a hot fuckin’ lesbian femme bitch and so am I—both of us with long hair and long fingernails and high heels—why would he be humiliated by this state of affairs?

One of his favorite roleplays is that he is my personal assistant “Wendy” and I’m, well, me, and she is supposed to be doing stuff for me at my house, but I come home from the gym in my sweaty, skimpy gym clothes and find her naked on the couch (why do I imagine a leather couch here?) jacking off to something from my porn stash. And then of course I have to reprimand Wendy and fuck her into submission, using those time-honored tools of frottage and strap-on sex and hot lesbian making out. (For that I just make a “puppet mouth” with my thumb and index finger and make out with that; I think it sounds more authentic. Maybe he doesn’t care about authentic. I do.)

Surfer Dude is definitely a regular, and a fun one at that. He is super up and chill at the same time, and ends every call saying very complimentary things, which I don’t understand, because I find it hard to believe that he is even hearing one-tenth of what I am saying. He gets so wound up during the call that he frequently wrests “control” of the scene away from me in the middle, and he talks over me. This means I have to talk louder and faster to get him to hear anything, and then he talks louder and faster, until by the end of it we are both kind of shrieking “bitch” and “fuck me” at each other and moaning in this sweaty girl-on-girl frenzy, which culminates in his REALLY high-pitched ejaculatory moan.

Whatever works, dude.

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