CALL OF THE DAY: the Case of the Reluctant Dom

I was hoping for a good call to get me started back, after four months of being away. No, let’s be honest: I was, in my heart of hearts, hoping that I would make it big enough in theatre this year that I wouldn’t have to get started back. But, since I have known for some weeks that I would be doing phones again this fall, I have hoped that my re-entry would not be too horrible. Not Extreme Top. Not the Strangler. Not Dead Soul. That shit you gotta work up to.

I lucked out, though. I got the Reluctant Dom.

I think I’ve written about him before, but I can’t find any other posts about him here, so I’ll be brief in the recap: the Reluctant Dom is a gentle man with a sadistic streak a mile wide, and he loathes himself for it. I remember more than one occasion, after a call in which he has just been lashing me with a belt or pulling on handfuls of my pubic hair, and during that gasping post-coital cool-down, he has said something along the lines of “I’m a bad man. I can’t keep doing this. What woman would ever want this?”


Of course I tell him that there are women out there who would want that, who would gladly take all the torment he dished out, if he took care of them afterward.  I tell him it’s fine. I’m not sure he’s listening. I don’t know whether or how much of his self-loathing is essential to his turn-on. I don’t think much. I think he really doesn’t want to be turned on like this, and as an active kinkster, that makes me sad. So occasionally with him, I break my own rules and ofter advice or meta-scene encouragement. This is okay to want, I say.

Today I looked at the Reluctant Dom’s card and realized that I hadn’t talked with him in over a year. He just hasn’t requested me, and he said, without prompting, that he hasn’t called for at least a year. He had me up in the examining table in the doctor’s office, where a mild-mannered interview about my continued lack of orgasm tumbled pretty quickly into him calling his two beautiful nurses in to beat me with a belt and suck on my tittieses and fuck me with a strap-on while I begged for more and eventually came. After he came, I asked if there was a reason he hadn’t called in so long, and I could almost hear him shrugging his shoulders and blushing.

Right. Not my place to know. But I like to imagine that he wrestled with his demons, and then won and went out and found Fetlife. A year is about long enough for that journey to at least begin, even for a very reluctant dom.

1 Comment
  • mel rife

    Aw, this is so sweet. I totally know that reluctant dom, have dated them before. You just want to tell them it’s going to be okay and they can’t scare you. Glad to hear he’s growing in his self-acceptance. Sometimes it only takes one person saying it’s okay.

    September 11, 2014 at 10:18 pm
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