CALL OF THE DAY: the Good Sub

See, you could get out of that in 3 seconds. Give me some _real_ submission, you twit!

See, you could get out of that in 3 seconds. Give me some _real_ submission, you twit!

As you will know if you are a frequent reader of this blog, power exchange over the phone for money is very different from power exchange that you’re doing because you legitimately like the person and want to top them into next week. The main difference is this:

On the phone for pay, I may be the domme, but I am never in control.

Almost to a man, my phone subs are pushy, micromanaging, unimaginative brats. I can’t tell them to do anything without them whining, and their commitment to doing “anything you want, Mistress” is such patent bullshit that their even using the term Mistress offends me. They want the trappings of submission decorating the activities that they already know and love, which is fine, that’s fine! That’s what sex work is for, to pay people to do exactly what you want. But as a sub myself, I long for authentic power connection; if I have to dominate someone, I want a sub who is actually paying attention to me, and I’ve never had that.

Until two weeks ago, when this gentleman called for a 30-minute session. In this first encounter, the caller asked for “soft domme,” which in my book generally means “no shouting and no other men involved.” Easy enough. We played with a few toys—cock ring, butt plug, nipple clamps, a pair of his wife’s panties—and I thought we did well. He was articulate and thorough about answering my few questions; he also seemed to be absolutely compliant about doing whatever activity I was pulling out of thin air. It was nice to get that kind of focus from a sub. I liked him, and hoped that he would call back.

And then yesterday he did, requesting me by name. But the dispatcher told me that he was hoping for something “a little harder” today. She said he asked her if she thought I could “handle” that, and that she actually laughed at him a little bit. She knows what I can do, she hears most of it. But did he give any details about how he wanted it harder? Nope.


My most recent experience with Extreme Sub has not led me to expect getting helpful responses from my phone subs. But with this new guy, because he had been so responsive during that first call, I decide to start the “harder” with more control. If I own the conversation, then I get to steer it in whatever way is useful to me.

I understand you asked about going harder today.
The issue with that is there are many ways that I could take this harder. Are we talking more actual pain, or just more extreme fantasies?
Look, <name>, you seem like an intelligent man, so I’m telling you up front. I’m not psychic. The more you talk to me, the better this is going to be for both of us.
“No, I know, I’m just thinking about how to frame my answer.”

What customer takes time in phone sex to frame their answer?

Okay, we’re going to talk a little, I said, and then I’m going to make sure that you come early enough so that we have a few minutes to debrief on the other side. He agreed. I asked him what was his “real-life” experience was with being dominated (non-existent); where did he find out about being dominated then (he named a couple of web sites that I will have to check out); what his room’s layout was (so I could have a better picture of the action). I asked whether he wanted to be humiliated (no), or whether he wanted to talk about involving other men in the scene (no).

The more I asked, the more I was making it clear that, as his dominatrix, I had the right to ask. I also had the right to command. When pressed, the caller said that he thought the power dynamic might be the most attractive element of this temporary relationship, but he would take pain for me. Yes, I said, you will, but we need to find out how much and what sort.

So, after I told him to put that butt plug in, I then had him tie his balls up tight, and then beat them with a long shoe horn. (No, I didn’t ask for that, I originally asked for a ruler, but this was all he had in his room like that.) Then I had him slowly untie his balls while stroking off with the other hand. He came on a plate on my command, and licked it up–something he had wanted to try last time, and apparently enjoyed–and then caught his breath, laughing, while I teased him about how much he clearly liked that. And then the debrief.

How are your balls?
“I think they’re fine. … They’re pretty good, actually.”
Ah, invigorated, huh?
(He laughed.)
I have two things for next time, if there’s going to be a next time with me.
“Yes, ma’am.”
First, I want you find a pair of your wife’s panties that are not beige or charcoal. I want to see something prettier on that dick.
“Yes, ma’am.”
Secondly, you need to find a ruler or a chopstick or a knitting needle. Something that is going to sting when you slap it against your skin. I prefer the stinging action.
(audible swallow) “Yes, ma’am.”

I think that was “a little harder” enough.


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