TERRIBLE SEX TIPS: “6 Ways To Make Going Down On You His FAVORITE Hobby”
The opening to this piece, which was sourced from the web site Latina, suggests that Latino men are less willing to go down on the ladies than white men are. I have not heard this, but I know, from anecdotal and personal experience, that plenty of straight men of all skin tones are less than reciprocal about going down than their partners would like.
Where â€œless than reciprocalâ€ = OH NO JEEZUS CHRIST NO I DONâ€™T KNOW WHAT TO DO DOWN THERE WHY ARE WOMENâ€™S BITS SO COMPLICATED NO NO NO.
I donâ€™t have this problem anymoreâ€”THANK GODâ€”but when this article popped up in my Facebook feed, I wanted to see if there was anything in here to help my sisters of the Uncared-for Clam.
NOPE. Itâ€™s the same old mix of worship his dick, scrub yourself down, and do all the goddamn work.
How can Number 1 on the list of ways to encourageÂ him to do you is â€œdo himâ€? I feel like blow jobs are already part of many straight womenâ€™s repertoire, and often wind up just being the entire sexual encounter. Specifically the expert cited herein talks about sucking his dick as â€œan act of worship,â€ meaning pay attention to his responses, donâ€™t do it because youâ€™re wanting some quim pro quo. But but butâ€¦ you ARE wanting reciprocity here, right? To make it worse, the advice on cock-worshipping is pretty fuckinâ€™ wooâ€”â€œActivate all of your senses. Get out of your mind and be freeâ€â€”and then they end this particular tip by saying, â€œIf that doesnâ€™t encourage him to go down on you, I donâ€™t know what will.â€
Yes, the writer as much as admits that they should have stopped right there. Sadly, they did not, so we are treated to such classic approaches as
Letting him wash your cunt himself. Because apparently unless he does it himself, he canâ€™t really trust that you are squeaky clean? GARGHHHH. Pee comes out the tip of his dick, and no dude offers to wipe that off when he whips it out, do they? This suggestion is particularly terrifying in this article, because it actually says to â€œlet him soap you up in the tub.â€ NO SOAP IN THE COOCH. NO SOAP THERE. NO. If you really feel like you gotta rinse, then just rinse. NEVER ANY SOAP.
Use toys. â€œMuch like you hope he ejaculates in 2.2 seconds when youâ€™re blowing him, he wants you to climax just as fast â€”Â so his tongue can rest!â€Â Wait, wait, wait. I mean, yes toys. But sex tip writers, PLEASE donâ€™t encourage your readers to think that wanting any pleasurable sex act to be over quickly is NORMAL. Maybe when youâ€™re tired? But thatâ€™s not what was said here. Weâ€™ve already established that giving head should be an act of worship, right? With toys or without, he should be genuflecting to your genitals for a while.
Communicate, be willing to teach, experiment with positionsâ€¦ great. This particular service piece is not rotten through and through. But there are too many quotes from experts who are reinforcing the dominant paradigm of heteronormative pussy-eating. In this world view, eating out is part of a housecleaning list. Polish it up and get it done quick, and then youâ€™ll get done, too.
Everyoneâ€™s genitals deserve better sex tips than that.
We can’t get to a culture of proper cunnilingus and cock-sucking until we drag ALL THE OLD SHIT out onto the table and run it through the wringer. That’s what I’m here for! Show your love for my labor by becoming a patron of mine on Patreon!