TERRIBLE SEX TIPS: “How To Give Her All Three (YES, THREE!) Types Of Multiple Orgasms”
First of all, the writerâ€™s name is Nick Hardwick. That sort of name hasnâ€™t really been in play since Chaucer, and for good reason: it makes you look like a twit. It also completely removes you from the field of people who should be giving anyone any serious advice about sex. Sorry, Nick, your sex tips in this article are invalid. No, actually, theyâ€™re Terrible!
For starters, I firmly believe that, when assessing sex tips, we need to start at the very beginning. The writer presumably considers the first paragraph to be the important point of the article. With this piece, we have the following:
Stringing together a series of intenseÂ multiple orgasmsÂ that keep your woman coming all night long is one of the most entertaining and empowering ways toÂ make her sexually addicted to you.
When I make this blog post into a Terrible Sex Tips videoâ€”and I most certainly willâ€”I will ask the editor to add an ominous echoing effect right there. Being stuck in text format for now, Iâ€™ll just repeat it for emphasis:
â€œâ€¦ make her sexually addicted to you.â€
â€œâ€¦ sexually addicted to you.â€
â€œâ€¦ addicted to you.â€
Creepy, right?Â Never mind that the author thinks itâ€™s entertaining to get someone dependent on you for sexual satisfactionâ€”ha ha, look at that slut, slobbering and begging for all those multiple orgasms!â€”but they also picture physical compulsion as the only way to keep someone coming back. This is someone who doubts the attractiveness of their own personality, is what Iâ€™m saying. It smacks of PUA (pick-up artistry), and at the very least it is a shitty fucking conceptual framework for sexual chemistry.
This article also promotes overriding your partnerâ€™s verbal, conscious participation in sexual pleasure. Iâ€™m not overstating this.
If your girl believes she canâ€™t have multiples, and she thinks youâ€™re trying to give them to her, her subconscious brain will team up with her body and work together to keep it from happening.
But, like, whatÂ if she notices that you are in fact forging forward over her recovery time? Sheâ€™s just trying to catch her breath, and you keep going and she just, like, shuts down. Maybe this is not her being afraid of her own majestic orgasmic power. Maybe she just needs a rest! Eh, who cares, right? Clearly you know her body better than she does, so go on ahead!
This attitude isÂ also very aggressive and narcissistic; her orgasms are all about proving how â€œskilledâ€ you are, presumably
to keep her from ever wondering if anyone else could do it better to show her what a prime catch you are!
Here, and look at this:
Letâ€™s say you just finishedÂ using your favorite fingering techniqueÂ to give her a glorious g-spot orgasm that sent her out of orbitâ€¦ but youâ€™re just getting warmed up.Â You still want to make her come some more, you stud.
You. STUD. Donâ€™t ask her what she wants. Make her come!
The advice that follows? Itâ€™s not problematic in any way, except that it reads like a very specific road map to one womanâ€™s very specific pleasure points. It reads like a checklist, right down to when to kiss her and when to â€œtell her how sexy she looks.â€ (After she comes, apparently, is the prime time.) This article reads like the perfect sex stormâ€”and I mean that in the negative senseâ€”a nightmarish convergence of pick-up artistry and overachiever and hipsterism and egotistical asshattery. It is the brash confessional of a writer who made it big with one girl and thinks that means he is qualified to dole out the step-by-step manual.
Or do a video of 67 ways to make her come. Thatâ€™s what Nick Hardwick is doing with his terrible sex tips. Donâ€™t buy that video. It may have some useful sex tips, but itâ€™ll leave you feeling so battered by his attitude you wonâ€™t be able to get it up again for months.
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