TERRIBLE SEX TIPS: “How To Give Her All Three (YES, THREE!) Types Of Multiple Orgasms”
First of all, the writerâs name is Nick Hardwick. That sort of name hasnât really been in play since Chaucer, and for good reason: it makes you look like a twit. It also completely removes you from the field of people who should be giving anyone any serious advice about sex. Sorry, Nick, your sex tips in this article are invalid. No, actually, theyâre Terrible!
For starters, I firmly believe that, when assessing sex tips, we need to start at the very beginning. The writer presumably considers the first paragraph to be the important point of the article. With this piece, we have the following:
Stringing together a series of intense multiple orgasms that keep your woman coming all night long is one of the most entertaining and empowering ways to make her sexually addicted to you.
When I make this blog post into a Terrible Sex Tips videoâand I most certainly willâI will ask the editor to add an ominous echoing effect right there. Being stuck in text format for now, Iâll just repeat it for emphasis:
â⌠make her sexually addicted to you.â
â⌠sexually addicted to you.â
â⌠addicted to you.â
Creepy, right? Never mind that the author thinks itâs entertaining to get someone dependent on you for sexual satisfactionâha ha, look at that slut, slobbering and begging for all those multiple orgasms!âbut they also picture physical compulsion as the only way to keep someone coming back. This is someone who doubts the attractiveness of their own personality, is what Iâm saying. It smacks of PUA (pick-up artistry), and at the very least it is a shitty fucking conceptual framework for sexual chemistry.
This article also promotes overriding your partnerâs verbal, conscious participation in sexual pleasure. Iâm not overstating this.
If your girl believes she canât have multiples, and she thinks youâre trying to give them to her, her subconscious brain will team up with her body and work together to keep it from happening.
But, like, what if she notices that you are in fact forging forward over her recovery time? Sheâs just trying to catch her breath, and you keep going and she just, like, shuts down. Maybe this is not her being afraid of her own majestic orgasmic power. Maybe she just needs a rest! Eh, who cares, right? Clearly you know her body better than she does, so go on ahead!
This attitude is also very aggressive and narcissistic; her orgasms are all about proving how âskilledâ you are, presumably to keep her from ever wondering if anyone else could do it better to show her what a prime catch you are!
Here, and look at this:
Letâs say you just finished using your favorite fingering technique to give her a glorious g-spot orgasm that sent her out of orbit⌠but youâre just getting warmed up. You still want to make her come some more, you stud.
You. STUD. Donât ask her what she wants. Make her come!
The advice that follows? Itâs not problematic in any way, except that it reads like a very specific road map to one womanâs very specific pleasure points. It reads like a checklist, right down to when to kiss her and when to âtell her how sexy she looks.â (After she comes, apparently, is the prime time.) This article reads like the perfect sex stormâand I mean that in the negative senseâa nightmarish convergence of pick-up artistry and overachiever and hipsterism and egotistical asshattery. It is the brash confessional of a writer who made it big with one girl and thinks that means he is qualified to dole out the step-by-step manual.
Or do a video of 67 ways to make her come. Thatâs what Nick Hardwick is doing with his terrible sex tips. Donât buy that video. It may have some useful sex tips, but itâll leave you feeling so battered by his attitude you wonât be able to get it up again for months.
*****
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