This piece should only have had seven positions. That's what it says in the URL, and at the link you will find that the text-only article has seven items, basically a run-down of the most common positions with all the stupid stereotypical reasons that a... View More
I know I asked you to talk dirty, but THAT was a little too far... View More
You know that thing, when you're eating all celery and hummus because the hummus is so garlicky and lemony and rich and the celery is perfectly cool and crisp, and you're really enjoying that combination, you can't even be bothered with the bowl of olives... View More
I rarelyâ€”oh, so rarelyâ€”take specific content requests out on the Smut Stand. Usually the requesters are drunk stag dos, looking for something involving a donkey and two dozen green balloons and "a couple of hookers" (their words, not mine), and I am not particularly interested... View More
Yeah, baby, I invented candles while fucking, too. Hot, huh?
Maybe I'm just cranky from being on tour, or perhaps I am missing a proper good roistering ("she just needs to get laid" is occasionally true), but sexually speaking, I've been inside... View More
WHY do I always look constipated while I'm typing? I need to work on that look... View More
"You can't tell, but both of these buff men are on a platform... View More
Obviously, for literal shit your cleaning supplies would be different... View More
Day 27: The rare Blended Orgasm continues to elude me. What am I doing wrong?
I try to be conscious about using "should" in my conversation, e.g. "you should really take better care of yourselfâ€¦" Sentences like that are deliberately vague about... View More
"Well, I didn't think he'd say YES!"
I haven't been on the Terrible Sex Tip beat for long, but I think I'm starting to pick up some of the signs that something truly terrible is imminent:
numbered lists of anything, especially past double... View More