Author: camerynmoore

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Post-tour funk (you can’t really dance to it)

Post-tour re-entry has been a little rough, people, I'm not gonna lie. It's been about 6 weeks, and I'm just starting to wake up again and face the day-to-day realities of doing full-time phone sex: bad body posture from slouching around on my bed all day (damn, and I left my lap desk in Montreal); the self-denial of needing to stay in most evenings and be available for calls; the interrupted dinners and cold pork chops all over again.

I'm living a sedentary life again, and that is a challenge. I didn't even think about how active my life was on tour while I was doing it, because it just had to be done. And then, boom, 6 to 8 hours a day walking around down to zero again. I mean, never mind all the face-to-face people time that I'm no longer getting! It's a surefire recipe for post-tour funk.

The late-night hours have taken some getting used to, too, even though I was definitely living the night life out on tour. It's one thing to be up until 3am because you're hanging out with other performers at a bar, and another thing altogether to be up until 3am because you're hoping against hope that you can slip one last call into the pay period.

It's taken time to let customers know that I'm here again. I knew heading out on tour that I'd be losing some regulars, but I didn't know how many and how much that would affect my pay. Some have managed to find me again, either while I was traveling or now that I'm back, but most have moved on and found another girl to help them get their rocks off, which I don't grudge at all. I'm good, yes, maybe even great, but I have no delusions that I'm irreplaceable.

I knew it, but it's still a hard truth to face: phone work is a totally different venue for my performing skills. It just is. A show has reviews, and blurbs in the program books, and a script that's all dog-eared, and people who are still staying in touch to find out when I'm bringing Phone Whore back to their city, or what my next play is about. Phone sex is ephemeral, and most of my fans last as long as it takes to accumulate a load of crusty socks and run them through the wash...

So, in case you were wondering where I've been, it's not that I'm not here, because I am. It's that I'm working on being back.

SMUT SLAM = erotica + poetry slam + my dirty mouth

Oh my god, there is so much coming up in the next few months, and yes, I will tell you about all of that soon, but I wanted to get you started with THIS...

Little Black Book Productions PRESENTS


Wednesday, February 23, 2011 * 6:30 to 9pm
Kennedy's Midtown, 42 Province St. Boston
...(5 minutes from Park Street or State St. T)
Admission: $5, 21+ only

You know what a poetry slam is, and maybe you know about story slams, too.** Now it's time for Boston's first-ever SMUT SLAM, a fast-paced night of storytelling based on real life, real lust, real sex. The theme for this SMUT SLAM is "surprise!"

SMUT SLAMMERS sign up on the night to tell a 5-minute piece of smut/sex/erotica, based on their real lives and ideally relating to the them of Surprise!, and a lucky eight to ten names will be drawn at random. There will be a team of 3 to 5 judges - interested amateurs, storytellers, theater people, sex workers, and anyone who loves sex stories. At intermission, slammers and audience alike have the opportunity to challenge Cameryn Moore, the Phone Whore, in a lightning-fast IRON SMUT ROUND, where participants receive 3 randomly chosen words or phrases and then must use those in two-minute smut fictional narratives created ON THE SPOT.


Don't worry. The audience is in for a good time at SMUT SLAM! Sit back and enjoy. All we ask is:
- No interrupting.
- No heckling.
- No necking.

Get complete rules at the Facebook event page!

Search-term syntax and finding the Phone Whore

... or, How the FUCK did they find me with THAT?!

I did this once before and it amused me to no end. Now that I'm trying to get back on the blog-horse, after 6 months on the road (more about that in subsequent posts), I thought I'd try it again as a nice re-entry point.

WordPress, you see, can tell you the terms that people use when they stumble across your blog.  And I gotta say, although I can't figure how to use this for marketing purposes, it cracks my shit up. Let's take a look at the breakdown for the last 7 days, shall we?

38 variations on Cameryn Moore, Phone Whore.
After doing 73 shows in 18 cities, with posters all over the fucking place, I should hope the name is sticking in people's heads at least a little bit.

10 cuckolds. These are some of my more involved specialty calls, so of course I've written about these. Excellent search combos include "what it's like to be a cuckold" (well, embarrassing, right?), "sissy cuck toilet slave at a party" (you know what they say about parties: clean up as you go along!), and my personal favorite of this crop, "swingers Jamal cuckold" (there's a story right there, in three words).

8 searches for "toilet slave", including the obvious variant "shit pig". If I were really into scat as part of my sexual identity, I think I'd probably go with shit pig, rather than toilet slave. It feels so much more empowering, you know?

7 for "office fuck". Are they looking for tips for making that happen?

And the rest are one-hit wonders like "free streaming mature perversities", "cream pie housewife", and "selebratie tits". That last one I don't know if they meant "celebrity tits" or "celebrate tits". Either way, baby, I got 'em and I DO.


Starting this week, I'll be digging back through 6 months of my show Phone Whore and bringing out the highlights reel. I mean, for those of you who follow me on facebook, you know a lot of it, but it's different when you're not limited to 420 characters. And stay tuned for exciting news about my radio show and more public appearances, and PLANS FOR NEXT YEAR'S TOUR. Yep. I'll be doing it again, and maybe this time you can catch me!

Fringe Review: “Phone Whore”, Another 5 Star Performance! (Toronto Fringe, July 2010)

So you know the title and you've read the description, so it won't be a surprise to you when you go see the show that the language and phone scenarios are sexually explicit. What may surprise you is the strength of the writing and the polished acting: no basic sex ad chatter that you find in the classifieds, and no fake, over the top, cutesie acting. What you get in Phone Whore is honesty and a script that questions society's standards, taboos and hypocrisy in relation to sex and sexual fantasies.

(read the rest here)

Phone Whore – &&&& +&&&& (Rover Arts, Montreal, June 2010)

There isn’t praise high enough for Phone Whore. Cameryn Moore’s one-woman, semi-autobiographical look into the life of a phone sex worker is frank, funny, brave, unsettling and even moving. Moore gives her audience exactly what they came for with steamy, one-sided re-enactments of calls with randy clients. But rather than stretch the material to comical extremes, she subtly shifts her focus ...

(read the entire review)


First weekend on the Fringe

Everything held together, Phone Whore premiered in Montreal and did great, the pissy weather held off until today, and now my head and feet are aching from too much walking and not enough sleep. I have some pictures on my computer, but I need to sort through them. Here on my homestay desk I have a heap of coins that still feel like play money. Receipts are stacking up; time to do some filing. And today I go and open my Canadian bank account. Woo-hoo! That's show biz.

Meanwhile, on the phone-sex front things are going slow. I have been working round the clock for so long, and evenings are when most of my regulars call. Have called. Used to call. I'm plugging in and putting in that 5 hours a day, but those are daytime hours and really I'm just covering the lines. And when you throw the travel days on top of that, well, it's just going to be slow and my boss isn't very happy. Sigh. I really do need something better than rain outside right now.


I may be keeping my photo diary on facebook, so make sure you friend me over there!

a semi-real moment in an unreal life

I love the calls where I get to be myself.

I mean, I'm never myself entirely. I'm always my PSO name who, depending on who I'm talking to, may be anywhere from 29 to 58, with 0 to 2 kids (possibly nursing), a time-share in a dungeon, a husband and two lovers, and/or an 8-inch fully functioning dick.

But some callers, like the guy I just finished, they are so ready to talk and take whatever I dish out, I can let my personality setting slide pretty damn close to the default. Because I don't have to keep track of my vocal pitch, or whether I'm laughing too much, or whether my pussy is shaved or not. I don't have to steer clear of my fingers in his ass, or pinching his balls, or getting him into an old pair of his girlfriend's panties.

I don't even need to worry about whether he prefers "dick" vs. "cock", because he really is into anything. I just get to curse him and pound the armrest of the easy chair and pull out all the good stuff from my virtual sex-toy chest. I tell him in detail about all the tastes he's getting--sweat and pussy juice and that flavor that can only be found two inches deep into my ass. I pin his arms down with my legs, tease his cock that's trapped in a pair of green satin panties, and by the end of the call I'm laughing loudly, in my normal laugh, while he catches his breath and jokingly grouses about having to wipe his own come off of his neck.

I'm not coming, but DAMN, I'm having fun.


Just so you all know, I am going to be posting notes and photos and vids from my tour at this blog. So sometimes you'll get stuff like today's note, you know, lotsa good raunch, and occasionally you might get a picture of me wearing a fedora and putting some Fringe staff member in a headlock. Just saying. Things could... get a little random up in this joint.

Life-in-a-box (planning for the tour)

So... there's this little play that I'm doing this summer and fall. Maybe you've heard of it. Phone Whore. Really. It's little. It's just got me in it. I have a director and a tech director and a set builder, but on stage it's just me in my pajamas. The set pieces can all fit in my 1991 Toyota Corolla, plus two suitcases, a duffle bag, an office-in-a-box, and a pantry-in-a-box.

(Oooh, an office-in-a-box? Sounds snazzy! What is it? Ummm... office and merch supplies thrown in a box. Same thing for pantry-in-a-box: rice, granola, sofrito, tuna fish, peanuts, and a good chef's knife. In a box. As simple as dick in a box, but easier to explain to customs.)


A lot of my life is wrapped up in getting this show on the road, getting it booked into places, getting homestay, making a fantastic poster, and, well, packing my life in a box for five months and putting it on wheels. That in itself is fairly traumatic. But add on top of it, I'm basically committing to saying the same vulnerable, sexy, scary things (one audience member at the Boston opening weekend called it "intense") for 50 or 60 shows over the next five months.

How can I tell that I'm scared? I find myself second-guessing my decisions, even with the positive feedback, even with the plans in place, even with the Montreal postcardsThe postcard for the Montreal Fringe done and sent to print, the first of thousands of cards I'll be handing out to people this year with my face on them (layered over a fierce pegging narrative, a very readable wall of smut in 20% grayscale).

I keep bugging my director. It's not too much? I ask. NO, she says, shut up.

I look at posts like this, about how coming out and sharing one's story as a sex worker is a privilege, and I think, god, what I'm doing is so fucking self-centered and privileged.

And then I feel the weight of the responsibility, because I know that people are going to take me and my play as some kind of representation of the whole, and it's not, it really isn't, but that doesn't matter, because in the larger scheme of things, that's just the way it's going to be interpreted. And then I try to sort out unnecessary guilt from necessary good intent, and that's a bitch, let me tell you.

And then I think, what if people really like it and come out to it? I'm going to have to file taxes in Canada next year, jeezus, I still owe $7000 in back taxes here in my own goddamn country! Or what if people start stalking me because of it? And then I start to get an anxiety attack.

And then inevitably the phone rings. (Warm pork chops or an anxiety attack, the calls always interrupt something good.) (And actually another call came in just now, a 15-minute hand-job. Five bucks for me, yay!) But you know what? As busy as I am, making lists or trying to reach kinksters in Calgary or nailing down a venue in DC--even while on tour, because I'm sticking as close to my required shifts as possible--I need the calls to keep coming in.

For starters I need to keep making money. I don't know how the tour is going to do. But beyond that, doing the calls calms me right the fuck down. It reminds me where the hell this all comes from, this play, my comedy stuff, the tour. A fifteen-minute titty fuck grounds me in the straightforward (which is not always to say simple) act of getting a stranger off. Audiences and reviewers and the public and, hell, community standards can be prickly little bastards, fickle and treacherous. But my callers only want one thing, and by god, I know beyond doubt that I am good at giving it.

Thanks, guys!

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