As I’m gearing up for more Smut Slams in Europe (get in touch if you want one in your city), I’m thinking again about the Smut Slam Code of Conduct and the idea of safe(r) space in performance contexts. Specifically I’m thinking about what safer space...
View More
do I have to give you a piece of my cookie if I do? Okay, so first of all, DTR = Define The Relationship. I had to puzzle that one out. When I think about the questions that can come up in...
View MoreI have written about the concept of “home†frequently and at length. As a touring artist, I am understandably a little obsessed, while at the same time trying to be chill about it. I’ve tried to be all, you know, I’m tough, I only need...
View More
Have you given up on guilt? If so, when did you do that? If not, why not? Generally I try to avoid both, but it happens. First, let’s clarify: guilt is not the same thing as shame. Guilt is when I feel bad...
View More
Sometimes I have no quibble with the actual sex tips in an article. I just can’t stand the delivery. Like this business: I am an aficionado of the kiss. No other act is so simple and so intimate. The light suction, the flick of the lip,...
View MoreWere you always so open about sex and sexual experiences, or was it something you became more open about over time? If it was over time, why? At this point I really am pretty upfront about most of it. Neither our ability nor...
View MoreI’ve talked about silence in dirty talk before, where we leave spaces in the narrative stream to let the heavy breathing and grunts and sexual tension do some of the work. But before we even get to the juicy bits, there are often other conversations...
View MoreSeriously, how to convince myself and any partners that safe oral sex, i.e. using a condom or dental dam, is totally fun and not paranoid and uptight and just no fun?! Do not google "dental dams" in your quest to sexify them....
View More
(This is the second article in an occasional series about Breaking the Fourth Wall in sex-aware performance. Here was the first.) I can see you! And that's WONDERFUL. I don’t always have a choice about lighting with Smut Slam, but when I do,...
View MoreShort answer: yes. Long answer: strap in, we’re going for a ride. For the sake of accuracy, I should point out that this question posits sexual orientation as being intrinsic ("nature"), by contrasting it with “lifestyle choice†(a conscious decision or choice, something that can be changed,...
View More